sn
October 26, 2024 at 3:23:41 PM
What's your coping mechanism?:
talking to loved ones and watching nostalgic mc videos
Who are your trusted people?:
3 online friends and my dogs
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
idm
i genuinely dont know what to do after my mums death. she died on october 8th so its still really fresh. they gave us her ashes yesterday. i dont know what to do without her, im nothing. i miss hearing her laugh and talking to the dogs and my dad. i dont feel safe without her. she was everything to me. i cant kms because my dogs and boyfriend will miss me, so i guess thats enough to keep me alive. i miss her so much. i dont know why she drank herself to death. i could have helped her and i would have been more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on. when she went to the hospital she was getting better for a bit and then things plummeted so she was put into a coma and after three days we decided to pull the plug on her. watching her heartbeat go from 70 to 50 to 0 and holding her until she got cold really fucked me up. we had matching friendship bracelets and when she was put into the ICU they cut it off and that really hurt me so much and i dont know why. i dont feel safe without her. i really really need a hug but shes gone and i dont want one from my dad or brother. i want a hug from HER, she made me feel safe and loved and wanted and now shes gone. i just want her back. why did this happen why did she do this to herself does she even know how much i love her
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 3:31:03 PM
Addiction and mental illness are a painfully tragic and oftentimes fatal combination. I don't know your mother nor you and how your lives were, but I doubt if she knew how much it would pain you that she would have made the same mistakes.
The only thing you really can do is go through the grieving process at your own pace, and try to find peace and solace in the world without her. You will be okay, regardless of what you believe now. It's natural to feel distressed and lost when someone dear to you passes on; but you can't let it rule your life.
I wish you the best, and I hope you find someone who can give you that hug you need. Stay safe.
:3
October 26, 2024 at 3:16:27 PM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
I don't rlly have one honestly,!!
What's your coping mechanism?:
coping linking and I've recently been wanting to try age regression
Who are your trusted people?:
my boyfriend and online mother
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
idm!!
I'm not good with venting but I really dislike when my bf gets kinda rude with me over small things and over-reacts like recently he's ignored me and I gen dislike when he does that and I've told him about this issue and it hasn't changed much but I don't wanna think of him as rude or anything cause I love him 
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 3:21:42 PM
It's okay to see someone's faults while still loving them. A big part of relationships, especially romantic ones, is learning to get comfortable calling the other person out for the things they do that are unsavory, or harmful to yourself or others, for the betterment of everyone involved.
I suggest bringing it up again and really putting your foot down about it, because your boundaries are to be respected, and he shouldn't be so hard on you over minor instances.
hannibal
October 26, 2024 at 1:58:18 PM
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
i dont mind
alot of bad things have happened in my life since i was about 6-7 but this really scarred me ---
june 5th 2023 on discord i met this person who dmed me due to mutual servers, we quickly bonded because we both liked k-pop and we talked alot, as of now our dms have over a thousand messages, i tried my best to match their energy like i do to any new person i meet, eventually about 3 days later we ended up dating. which was stupid of me but at the time i craved affection/attention. before this, i lied about my age to them and told them i was 13 turning 14 when i was actually 12 turning 13 and they were 15 turning 16. since we made sexual jokes and stuff our relationship eventually got more sexual, they began asking for pictures of my body, specifically my thighs and i agreed, since i was ignorant. i viewed this as love because of the affection they gave me and how much they made me feel like they cared for me, then they asked me to send them moaning audios, which i did and deeply regret. i really dont know why i didnt understand why what they were doing was wrong.
a few months(?) later, school started again and they started to be online on discord/instagram a little less, still shooting me messages every now and then until eventually they just stopped. then they disabled their instagram account (my only way of reaching them because they were inactive on discord) but come january 14th 2024, i remember that they had another instagram account and unsurprisingly (i have very bad amnesia) i couldn't remember the name until then, so i decided to message them on there, no response. i messaged them again on the 21st and they replied two days later, saying that they've seen my messages but they were just busy, then we started talking again although it would take them hours or even days to respond, they would even say that they loved me, during this, our relationship felt more intimate and romantic to me again, after months of not talking to them at all. i hadn't paid attention to anyone else i just stayed loyal. february 2nd at about 12 am, i had a mental breakdown due to the lack of responses, i felt like our love was fading and it was basically killing me, i prayed that night for god to change me or remove any flaws, i apologized over and over again for anything i had done that could drive them away from me. february 14th, i sent him a long paragraph explaining my disorders and why i have slight issues, and i got no response so after a week i just deleted it out of our dms.
february 26th(?) is when they blocked me on instagram, which confused me because it was so sudden and he didn't message me before then or anything. after that i had a few failed attempts at contacting them so i eventually just got over it, a while later i had told my close close friend a little bit of it and they told me that i had been groomed. and i never knew until they told me.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 3:26:19 PM
Sadly your friend is right, you had been groomed. There's not much that I can say on the matter other than it's not your fault, and I hope you're doing alright now. Learning from these mistakes and knowing what to look out for in the future will be an unfortunate but powerful skill to have on hand regardless of your age as you go through the online world.
Stay safe.
anon from 25th 8:32:45 PM
October 26, 2024 at 8:29:32 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
. aishiteitanoni by Maretu !!!
What's your coping mechanism?:
. smoking , any way of distracting myself like drawing ???
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
. idm ^_^
. I do understand that i didnt communicate properly in the situation , but it also happened suddenly as i was just chatting w my partner and i just snapped since we got a talk on that topic so i moved without thinking properly .. i was kinda just done /gen
. but my major issue is that im still attached to the person and idk what to do about that 
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 8:41:51 AM
I understand that spur of the moment panic, I did that twice recently and it really only did more harm than good in the end. Learn from your mistakes is all I can really say at this point. /lh
Rocky
October 26, 2024 at 6:34:37 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
Scottie Spliffin by Dikembe
What's your coping mechanism?:
I guess listening to music or watching stupid FNAF game plays for giggles
Who are your trusted people?:
I don't have anyone to trust
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
yes.
I've been trying to get better. I really have. But noone believes in me anymore. I might drop out of school and quit all my future plans to be a surgeon because I've lost motivation to even get up and shower. I haven't been to school is basically a month and I'm failing miserably. I lost all of my friends because they think I'm a freak and I think at this point I might just go back to hurting myself again. Or starving myself. My old best friend would also make fun of my appearance like no matter what I did with my hair I looked like shit. I was always too bug or too small. I'm never hygienic enough. And I'm still not. currently, I haven't showered since like maybe Monday because I tried to go to school Tuesday. I went home before my first class even started though. I'm surprised I've brushed my teeth regularly though. My hair at one point like a week ago got so matted that I had to cut it all off because I couldn't get out of bed to brush it. I just don't know what to do. I'm scared I might result in drugs again or selfharm or some or of eating disorder. I'm scared and just tired.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 7:36:37 AM
I think a good first step would be mustering up the energy to get out of bed every day, even if you don't do anything, just being out of bed is something. Personally that just means from my bed to my desk.
If you can, do your schoolwork from home. It needs to get done some way or another, whether you like it or not. Find help tools online if you need to, and work at your own pace, but be productive!
If you're up to it, try showering every other day, and wash your hair every other time you shower if you can.
Little steps over time to help build habit and get you back into the swing of things. I've been where you are in the past, and semi-recently (i have a nasty infection bc of it, dont be like me/humor/srs), so I'm merely recommending to you the things that helped me. Everyone is different so it may not work for you, but you wont know until you try.
Regardless, I believe in you! If you need more support feel free to reach out again, either here or on discord if you have it! Have a nice day <3
LACKSSIMIN | KIM DOKJA
October 26, 2024 at 6:25:49 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
A letter to my 13 year old self - Laufey.
What's your coping mechanism?:
Age regressing but people make fun of it, to the point I don't do it as often.
Who are your trusted people?:
Nobody except the person I've been friends with more than 4+ years.
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
Sure, why not.
Everyday I lose my mind when I remember the fact that my mom tried to full-on hit me because she thought I was faking my S/A. I was S/A'ed by my cousin when I was at least 5 or 6, they were 10 or whatsoever. They are currently an adult now but every time I think back to it just scares me.
I don't even know who to tell my problems to except in anonymous forums or websites that actually give me a sense of mind. Everything sucks for me at this point. I'll never be able to know if I'm in the wrong for what my cousin did to me or if I actually deserved it at all. It's a pain in the neck to remember and I wish I could just accept that I am a victim.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 6:32:32 AM
You were a child. And while they were also a child, at 10 you know what a no-no square is and to not touch people there. You're not in the wrong. Your cousin did a horrible thing, and sadly, I and many others can relate to that kind of trauma. You're never in the wrong if someone does something horrible to you against your will. It's not your fault. It wasn't then and isn't now. Even if you never told anyone for years, that's not your fault either. It's scary to seek help for that kind of thing because, unfortunately, not everyone is going to be kind when acknowledging it.
You were, and are a victim of that event, and I hope that you can receive proper help to cope with the trauma of it in a healthy way, and that you won't have to suffer with it forever like so many people do.
aspfish
October 26, 2024 at 5:47:41 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
idk if rainstorm sounds counts??
What's your coping mechanism?:
probably watching cat videos lol
Who are your trusted people?:
idk tbh
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
yah means alot if you did
Okay, first off Hello uhh i really dont know how to open up to someone or websites stuff but i really want to get this off my chest or head but yah. So, my life has been kinda average like normal grades, loving family stuff etc etc, Im already in my final year of high school and it had been really made me more anxious and idk, feeling nervous. Heck like your going to get a job soon or get into legal age. I do want to grow up but the feeling is just complicated.
Other than that, this is a different topic about school now i really want to know how to cope with time management or get motivation, time to time i really did not take my study seriously and now im probably having a hard time finishing my homeworks or understanding the lessons so yeheey for me???
Thats all i have to say rn, probably will vent more(?) I hope you dont mind me coming back here time to time.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 5:59:18 AM
Yes rainstorms count, and no I don't mind if you come back, use this as much as you need and I will reply whenever I get the chance if you want/need me to, so hello! Welcome to my office. /humor
I understand the feeling of anxiety that comes along with becoming an adult, because I had to go through it only 10 months ago. It's scary and confusing, and you're going to gain a lot of new responsibilities and people are going to suddenly expect way more from you. I don't tell you this to scare you, but to warn you, because no one warned me, and it hit like a train when I suddenly had to assess and cope with the new information being shoved down my throat.
You seem fairly lucky in the grades and family aspect, which will help you moving forward, but of course there's more to life than good grades and a loving family.
As far as studying and motivation goes, finding motivation is a different process for everyone, it can be easy, or it can be hard. I personally find that giving myself a reward system helped a lot in my senior year with motivating myself, but also using my creative energy to do assignments in a way that was more interesting and fun for me, while still getting the assignment done properly of course.
Time management is an important skill to learn, but also doing things in a way that is best for you. As a psychology nerd I feel the need to hand over a bit of information in the form of: studies prove that students who study for 30 minutes at a time over multiple sessions retain information better than those who cram in hour or longer study sessions. Paraphrased and in my own words, of course, but I hope that helps!
Beyond that, taking notes in a way that makes sense to you, even if they make no sense to anyone else, can be helpful! I did that a lot, and it held more information for me while being way less intense due to not being as dense as traditional note-taking.
Beyond that, seeing school as a stepping stone of life and not a road block is helpful, and changing your perspective about something can really change the way you engage with it in a meaningful way!
I hope any if not all of this is helpful to you in some capacity! I promise you'll get through this transition just fine. /gen
TLS
October 26, 2024 at 3:16:06 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
Numb by Linkin Park or Anastasia by Mxnifest
What's your coping mechanism?:
Just kinda anything that won't kill me ig?
Who are your trusted people?:
My parents
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
Only if you want to. Pls don't force yourself.
Sometimes I wonder if I caused my ex to leave me. I wasn't ever harmful towards him, but. I did have anger issues (still to this day, but I can manage better). I wonder if maybe me being bipolar ever caused him to be driven away? I never once harmed him, he even confessed so, but I still can't wonder if maybe me even existing was too much for him to handle. Why would you tell someone you loved them, why would you show them things you wanted for our future. Why would you always be there for me at every moment I needed your help and never leave me stranded, yet the moment your friend asks you to sleep with them, you do it with no hesitation or remorse. Why would you cheat on someone? I don't ever want to bash anyone called Oliver, but everytime I hear that name I panic because oh my god I don't ever want him in my life. I'm so scared he'll try to reach out to me 
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 3:41:51 AM
Your ex was very much in the wrong by cheating on you, and honestly sometimes people don't need a reason to do it, they just do it. It's shitty, and very disgusting of them, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I doubt anything you did or didn't do caused him to do what he did. It's not your fault that he cheated, so don't blame yourself.
You're still worthy of love and positivr attention, regardless of what's happened to you.
yeah
October 26, 2024 at 2:55:34 AM
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
atp i dont know im tired of typing omg
heh i spent like a good 3 to 4 hours yapping about how my mom is abusing me before accidentaly closing the page but whatevr ha im about to eat my guts but i hope you have a good day
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 3:38:02 AM
Ouch. Hate when that happens. If you wanna scream about it on a voice message instead my discord is very much open. I know all about the abusive mom thing, so I'm here if you need anything.
Also don't eat yourself, das not good.
Captain Fishcomet
October 26, 2024 at 1:49:30 AM
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
Yes
Hey, I'm back, just wanted to clear up the fact that I'm not trying to be mean or anything regarding my last comment. I was just expressing my thoughts on that topic.
Funnily enough I don't get stuff off of my chest that often. If I do, I feel disgusted by it because of my inner thoughts telling me that what I said back there was, for the lack of better words, cringe. And I should just "grow up" and keep it to myself next time.
Anyway yeah. That's about it. Have a good day.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 1:54:08 AM
Perfectly fine! I understood that there was no ill will meant, and replied in the only way I felt was best for not only getting my point across, but explaining my reasoning for opening this page. I will never reply negatively to anyone who posts on this page. (barring that one person, but that was justified)
It wasn't cringe and you have a right to express your inner thoughts and opinions, especially here! Feel free to use this page if you need to, I'm here for everyone regardless of their needs.
Stay safe!
Seawatt 🐜🐜🐜 again
October 26, 2024 at 1:28:49 AM
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
ya
I can try to set some boundaries, but I doubt I'll follow them myself. Though she's honestly very sweet and respects my boundaries, so I hope if I accidentally don't follow them she'll follow them regardless .
Thank you for listening to my rant 
Ur the best
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 1:48:40 AM
Anytime! <3
Seawatt 🐜🐜🐜
October 26, 2024 at 12:48:29 AM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
I Will - Mitski
What's your coping mechanism?:
Deep breathing and talking to people I trust
Who are your trusted people?:
My fps
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
Yes please ^_^
I feel like I'm being manipulated by my ex girlfriend and I'm just letting her do it. She keeps blocking me and unblocking me, saying she'll make up for it, and I believe her every single time. But then she blocks me again with no warning and I'll feel like it was all my fault. All of my friends keep telling me to leave her, that she's not worth my time and effort, but the thing is I can't. I can't just throw away our 3 years of good friendship over what I know is just an episode. I really don't want to listen to them, despite them practically pleading with me to do it.
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 1:05:59 AM
Unfortunately leaving her at this point would be the best thing for both of you. If you allow her to continue doing this, grabbing your attention, pulling you in, and then leaving without warning, you're only going to get hurt, and she likely wont ever see what she's doing as wrong, especially if it has to do with mental health issues, regardless of how much she's hurting you.
Now, that's not always the case, but it is a very common case. Showing people that their actions have consequences is always one of the best way to elicit change both quickly and efficiently, without long lectures and wasted emotional and physical energy. Even if you eventually reopen contact with her, forcing her to be without you might be the push she needs to see just how much she needs you. And in the end, if none of that works, cutting ties might be necessary; but there is always something to try before it gets to that point, so don't be scared to speak up and put your foot down. Your feelings and boundaries matter, too.
cross
October 26, 2024 at 12:19:59 AM
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
not if you don't want to! <3
this isn't a vent at all, but i'm so glad to see that you're willing to listen to people's vents. there's not a lot of people like you anymore, and i'm sure a lot of people are grateful to see that there are people who actually want to know how they are feeling. i wish i saw this sooner when i was in a darker time myself. thank you for looking out for people 
<3
Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 1:01:08 AM
It brings me great comfort to be able to comfort others, in any way that I can. This page is mostly for others but it's also a great help to myself as I recover from my own issues. Something of a non-direct apology letter to the people who I've hurt in the past.
Thank you for your acknowledgement, I hope you have a wonderful day/night <3
Ika
October 25, 2024 at 9:08:07 PM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
I bet on losing dogs. Yeah i know it just makes things worse but yeah
What's your coping mechanism?:
avoiding shit. ik its bad, but i cant stop
Who are your trusted people?:
my friends. sometimes i have nobody though
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
yeah
i feel alone. i have friends sure. but sometimes i cant stand them. they never did anything to make me mad or feel unloved, but sometimes i just cant. sometimes everything feels fake like someone is trying to manipulate me. it sucks i cant trust nobody. i hate having to stop responding. sometimes my brain makes me think they'll say horrible shit to me and it sucks too. i should trust them but i never know how things work
Replied on: October 25, 2024 at 9:17:20 PM
I understand how that feels. If you need a break from social interaction from time to time then go ahead and take those breaks, there's nothing wrong with that. From the sounds of it you have a pretty bad case of social anxiety that's making you overthink about things you know aren't actually a problem.
I would recommend seeking a therapist to help you work through that to avoid.it becoming a worse issue in the future.
You're doing just fine, don't let those intrusive thoughts convince you otherwise.
NH
October 25, 2024 at 7:31:53 PM
What's your favorite song for when you're upset?:
I think I am going to kill myself - elton john
What's your coping mechanism?:
Book reading
Who are your trusted people?:
No one
Would you like me to reply to your entry?:
No thanks, its fine
Lowkey might kill myself idk, it just frustrating being on here most of times
Replied on: October 25, 2024 at 7:36:53 PM
I feel the need to reply if only to recommend that you reach out to a hotline to receive help before you reach that point.
Ur the best
<3