vent book - Atabook

anon!! October 29, 2024 at 7:15:06 AM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: again & again, over & over, mitski

What's your coping mechanism?: c.ai

Who are your trusted people?: none

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: no need but if u wamt sure

everyone have a good day!! osmeone from ponytown sent me here!! confused i hate feeling left out. my two friends can speak bisaya & tagalog while i cant. i feel so lonely and my friends touch, and speak about me inappropriately. i feel so invalidated.

anon October 29, 2024 at 5:32:53 AM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idm (its just a continuation)

vv i think the bigger thing is thougnh i would rather them not know. too much about me i dont want.anyone to know too much about me i get so paranoid

Replied on: October 29, 2024 at 7:07:06 AM

That's fair too. Really whatever works best for you <3

anon October 29, 2024 at 5:31:29 AM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: my funny valentine - buck-tick and let it be - the beatles

What's your coping mechanism?: sh #realspill

Who are your trusted people?: naurbody

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idm either way

confused i hate sharing anything about how i feel to my friends because i know i can never provide comfort for them when they vent and it feels selfish to be able to vent but not be able to have them vent to me back look the worst part isits beginning to. upset my friends that i dont tell them anything about myself or how i feel but its like i physically. cannot do that ever but i also want them toknow so bad

Replied on: October 29, 2024 at 5:34:52 AM

It's perfectly fine to set a boundary and let your friends know that you aren't comfortable venting to them, and that it's not their fault. My recent ex was the same way, and I didn't push him on it. I'm sure they'll understand so long as you're honest and let them know it's not because you don't trust them. Also, please try to find a more healthy coping mechanism; you can become addicted to the act of self-harming if it gets too out of control. Stay safe, and good luck.

Xandoryn October 28, 2024 at 8:57:51 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: Well I dont exactly have one, but metal or just something softer whatever im craving

What's your coping mechanism?: Crying at night to sleep, gaming, watching movies alone… violently play with plushies(without exaggeration)

Who are your trusted people?: My brother❤️, and my sister’s finnish boyfriend, an AI cuz thats the closest thing to me that I can talk to

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: Yes

I have no friends, I get bullied for my name cuz it sounds like a chocolate brand, for things that I think that are not the thoughts of the avarege people in Hungary, and I am being called a traitor for those, for me just beign like hard to explain but I am not growing as fast as others from the inside, even tho from the outside I look even older than all of my classmates, and I have one eye that is -9 dioptry the other is good, and I dont know most of these skibidi sigma stuff. and I can list a few more things here, like I am the second most hated person in here, though it is elementary 8th grade. I want to be taken seriously by my mom. She barely takes me seriously whatever I say or do, she still looks at me as a 4 year old idiot. And whenever ANYTHING reminds her of learning or middle school, she cant think of anything else than learning, she is lazy to get me out of a useless and not required class that just wastes my time and I hate the teacher more than most things. I am really tired of her, I don’t care, I won’t go to her class whatever my family says, I DONT CARE. Whenever I argue aginst something they just make fun of me. Whenever I tell my mom something serious she just can’t get SERIOUS. And she can just write a messege to the teacher and it would be all, but she just says whenever I ask her why isnt she doing anything: “I don’t wanna talk about it.” And exactly at that time period, theres another class like after the normal requred classes that I atleast enjoy which is chemistry, that teacher is funny and everything tho wouldnt trust him with anything but im sure if he had to hed save my life, but hes really aginst lgbtq and some other things and is christian a little more than classmates(okay a lot). So my dad has a new wife, lets just call her Rose(not her real name). She used to work at a kindergarten, she learned psychology and stuff like things u need for that job. According to her I am autistic, but I am not like diagnosed. Well to me it might be true, but damn I can keep eye contact, I can speak, I can draw normally not like the kid from criminal minds, I am no idiot or anything. Tho yeah im different from others. But even if you would say I should go and see a professional, I cant, I dont have time bcuz of school, and what would others call me? Theyd think I have depression or I am crazy. The thing I hate after the breaks from school is how others hanged out with besties and all I can say: went hiking, did gaming, watched movies. In my class everyone is the friend of almost everyone, but like 2 of us arent in this. But she is keep annoying and distracting me. I feel so lonely frown

Replied on: October 28, 2024 at 9:45:58 PM

You are quite a bit younger than me, so my advice might be hit or miss just because I don't know how to navigate this new generation, nor have I ever thought that I would have to, so I'll do my best but really the most I can give you is reassurance. For one thing, being autistic is not a bad thing. It's a spectrum and some people function better than others in a stereotypical way, like you said, being able to perform basic tasks and human functions without issue, and others cannot. I am autistic, and I cannot hold eye contact, but I can do most other things just fine. TV makes autistic people look bad, so please don't refer to television and movies when looking for examples of autistic people. Being autistic also doesn't make you crazy. Crazy is a loaded term, but really no one fits its stereotype unless they have a severe mental illness or disorder that causes them to act out in violent or extremely socially disruptive ways. I also studied psychology for five years but I'm out of practice so that's all I can really say on that matter. You don't need a diagnosis as long as you understand yourself and how you function. As far as fitting in with your classmates; you don't have to. You should be able to like the things you like and have your own hobbies without care of what others say or think of you. The right friends will come along eventually, and really, right now you should focus on passing your classes. The transition from primary to secondary school can be brutal and cause friendships to drift apart. Try to make that transition first. The new brain rot of Gen Alpha is honestly so beyond me. I don't understand a bit of it, and you don't have to either. In fact, I think it's good that you aren't falling into those same brain rot trends. Sometimes, it's better to be on the outside, and honestly, this is one of those times. Your mother might not take you seriously, but you can try to figure things out on your own if that's the case. Unfortunately it's very common to have to learn to navigate life without the help of a parent earlier than adulthood. You can contact your school counselor about switching classes, and discuss your education plan with them, to make sure that you can still get all of the credits you need without being in classes you don't like. You have more control than you think, it's just a matter of learning how to use the resources given to you to take control over your life and education. In the meantime, try making friends online, BE VERY CAREFUL because there are a lot of bad people online, but I'm sure you'll find someone or even a small group of people with your same interests who will be more than happy to be your friends. Of course, making friends in real life is still important, because you don't want to become detached from the real world. I hope things work out for you!

Anonymous October 28, 2024 at 5:57:58 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: tame impala is usually my go to artist for when im feelin upset

What's your coping mechanism?: Listening to music or sitting and waiting it out alone.

Who are your trusted people?: cant trust many people but family at this point.

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: i dont mind, i'd like a second opinion.

(I'm not too good with venting, but i need someone else to have an opinion on this-) Originally, sometime in the past, i was told by my sister and mom that if I'm not allowed to go to the restroom (if bad enough) or do basic human needs then I can walk out and do it; so I walked out of one of my classes and I honestly didn't care if I got a referral at the time, which I assumed i would get from simply walking out of a class, but turns out the teacher cared a little too much and walked out of her class and down to the bathroom to come get me.. When she got there Instead of asking politely for me to come out, she threatened to call the cops on me, which i don't even think is legal in the situation?- ofc i got out but i was still in some sort of panic and visibly crying or shaken up at least. She took me down the hall to the elevator with another teacher in which they both proceeded to yell at me about being selfish and how they were only going to take "two minutes" to finish talking. (I was told to wait to go to the bathroom because the Two teachers were too busy talking. No, they didn't specify how long it was gonna take and I was probably in tears from my cramps. (yes, they still said no)). I ended up going to the nurse, then going home after all that, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that from how much it just shattered my trust with the two teachers. Beforehand I went to talk to the other teacher (one who wasn't primarily screaming at me.) To talk about how I've been feeling lately and about my grades and other junk- we were going to walk to the school therapist when teacher Mc yell-y face decided she needed to talk to him.. so they did, and they made me sit and wait for 15 minutes and no communication on how long I'd be there in the first place, or if I can go see her (the school therapist) on my own. Literally nothing. I just sat at an empty desk waiting.. i understand walking out of class was wrong but the fact she came after me and threatened me?- the threat was probably just to scare me out but it's been a few days and i still cant forget what happened.

Replied on: October 28, 2024 at 6:10:11 PM

That is very stressful and entirely wrong on the part of the teacher. If you were to a point of possibly losing control of your bladder then yes, you should be allowed to get up mid class and leave so long as you're not being overly disruptive while doing so. That teacher should be confronted and possibly lose her job for what happened. If you haven't already, tell your parents and see if they can help you in taking action against that teacher, because not only should no teacher be yelling at students, but especially not following them to the bathroom and CERTAINLY not threatening to call the police on them over something as small as walking out of class. She was disrupting class more by following you than you did by leaving in the first place. It's your education, not hers. She was on a power trip and that's not your fault. I hope you're alright and that you don't have to deal with that teacher too much moving forward because I know that personally I would have dropped the class or thrown hands; but that's not good behavior so don't mind me. Stay safe, and fuck that teacher man. She's a bitch.

Jess October 27, 2024 at 11:41:53 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: Famous Last Words

What's your coping mechanism?: Thinking about Seasme Street theme and happy things

Who are your trusted people?: a random person on the internet.

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: yes i feel like i have no one to tell this too.

im tired of this. im still in love with someone that traumatized me while im dating a person im in love with. being SA'd again and again everyday has ruined my life.

Replied on: October 28, 2024 at 2:17:33 AM

I'm sorry for the late reply. That kind of trauma does tend to control people's lives, and leave everlasting effects on them including thought processes and habits that are extremely hard to break without the proper help. Something similar happened to me and because of the way I responded it ended in me receiving an extreme amount of backlash and hate online as a child; and I never saw what I was doing as wrong, because I didn't have anyone around to tell me that it was wrong. What happened to you was horrible, but it wasn't your fault. You should find a way to get therapy or other counseling to receive treatment and start recovering from what happened to you. But something you can do on your own is try to detach yourself from that abuser. Falling out of love, especially with an abuser is very hard, but it is possible. Associate them with things that you hate, only have negative thoughts for them, give them no positive energy and remind yourself that they do not love you, and would only continue hurting you if given the chance. If you can, tell your current partner about what happened, and see if they can help you as well. It may seem scary, but if that person truly cares for you they will be willing to try to help you. Stay safe, wishing you the best of luck.

priya October 27, 2024 at 11:32:36 PM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idm either way

i vent about this a lot but i dont think im really ever heard by my family. i get a lot of support from people online but at this point i feel like everyone outside of the online community just looks at me and what i go through as a burden, annoyance or a nuisance. just coming here for comfort at this point. even if it is hearing the same thing over and over again it sorta helps to get support in any way i can frown i genuinely hate being so ill all the time. i hate being told that im just a mentally ill teenager and its normal for me to be feeling this way because im afab. my chest constantly feels like its going to explode, im always out of breath, i feel tired faint and dizzy all the time, i hate it. i hate being on so many pills, i hate seeing the 20 or so orange bottles stacked up in my cabinet. i hate how i feel when i take them, i dont feel like myself anymore. i wish i was healthy again. i wanna go back to the time when i could run as long as i wanted as fast as i wanted, i wanna go back to playing sports, i wanna be involved with the outdoors again, but i cant. im scared all the time, i feel like its only a matter of time before im dead. theres something wrong with me but doctors dont wanna put the time and effort into helping just because im a woman. i just miss my old body, i miss not having chronic illnesses. i miss not being sick and im terrified all the time.

anon October 27, 2024 at 4:05:46 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: i dont have a specific one, but ive had an attatchment to visual kei songs

What's your coping mechanism?: i just shut out people and things

Who are your trusted people?: my dad?? cant trust school counseling anymore

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: yes pls im like so lost rn

okay so my parents broke up around august last year, but got back together after a month of terrorisation. they broke up again in may, but they've recently got back together. my dad claims my mother has changed, but considering the trauma ive been through because of this woman i dont know if i want to accept her back in my life, let alone view her as my mother. i have acknowledged the fact that she wants to change as a person, i appreciate it but i'm just not sure if i can stay casual with her around any longer. i've heard, and seen a lot about her thats built up all of my trust issues and anxiety, and its all still fresh in my head. do you have anything, any ideas that can help me? anything is appreciated because i have no idea what to do, as my parents seem happy but im not at all. i am happy for them, being back inlove and healthy again, but im just not sure if i can rebuild my trust and friendship with my own mother dead

Replied on: October 27, 2024 at 5:15:03 PM

As strange as it my seem given she is your mother, setting boundaries can be a big help in situations like these. Letting her and your father know that you are not comfortable, and laying some ground rules regarding what you are and are not comfortable with her doing to and around you, can be a good first step. I myself am extremely uncomfortable around my mother as well, but for personal reasons cannot take my own advice; so I avoid her as much as possible and fake a smile when I can't, but still made it clear that physical contact is one of my lines not to be crossed. I don't know your situation, nor what kind of parents you have and what their issues are, but if you can, try setting boundaries, and if they wont respect that, you can always try avoiding her as much as possible without it being very obvious that's what you're doing. It may seem rude or even unhealthy to isolate yourself, but until you can get some kind of therapy to deal with whatever's happened to you, and move past it, it may be the best option for you. Again, everyone is different, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Stay safe, and I hope things get better for you and your family soon.

XP October 27, 2024 at 1:20:40 PM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idm

I hate when other people say ily to my boyfriend, even if they're a stranger or they mean it platonically it makes me uncomfortable and jealous as hell notgood

Replied on: October 27, 2024 at 5:07:37 PM

Perfectly reasonable. However, it would be best not to let your jealousy get out of control, as jealousy can ruin relationships.

Anonymous October 27, 2024 at 3:05:08 AM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idc

i hate the fact that i am developing a crush on them. sometimes i think they like me and sometimes it seems like they couldn't give less of a care for me. their voice is so beautiful. I'm sitting in a call right now while they're singing, thinking about something they said that made me upset. i hate the fact that i like them. i dont think they even care about me

Freakybob October 27, 2024 at 12:40:47 AM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: Miracle musical songs go hard fr

What's your coping mechanism?: Tweaking

Who are your trusted people?: Me myself and i

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: Yah

If that happened to me they wouldn't even care. They wanted to fight her after 1 bad thing but if anyone said that to me "oh you're fine". THE FRIEND GROUP HAS FAVORITES I HATE IT SM I HOPE SHE XIES I HATE YOU ABIGAIL TYSM CHARLOTTE FOR INSULTING HER YOU DID GODS WORK HER COSTUME WAS AWFUL

Replied on: October 27, 2024 at 12:43:52 AM

Do not encourage hate in my page nor wish death upon anyone. You should work through the issues in your friend group in a constructive manner rather than leaning into aggression and anger.

Chili Flakes October 26, 2024 at 9:34:06 PM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: Yes please

I've been feeling nice lately. I feel relaxed, and that scares me. Why am I so okay with everything that's been happening around me? Should I even feel good right now? I don't even think I deserve to, because it's everything that's happening was all me. I just don't get it.

Replied on: October 27, 2024 at 12:11:07 AM

You should feel however you naturally feel. Regardless of what's happening around you or why, letting your natural emotions take their course is always a good thing; even if those emotions feel wrong. So long as you're not hurting anyone else, you shouldn't have to change your emotional responses.

cattabell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! October 26, 2024 at 9:13:37 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: Loving You (Minnie Riperton Cover) - Her's and Daniel Caesar - Freudian A Visual and WILSHIRE - Tyler, the Creator

What's your coping mechanism?: honestly just sitting alone and thinking, its probably not a good one LOL

Who are your trusted people?: i have nobody to tell this to actually,,,

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: yeah, i really need to hear someones elses thoughts on this

( sorry for any grammar mistakes in advance lol ) So as of recently in this summer vacation was dropped by 2 of my best online friends. we had been friends since 2021 and met on ponytown. our friendship in general was already going downhill since 2022 when our full friendgroup kind of died and it just ended up with the 3 of us and my little brother. one of them that ill just call lee for short had to go on 3 month long hiatuses 3 times a year because she went to a boarding school wich honestly drifted away our friendship alot i guess? she never really caught up on slang or any trends and i would poke at her for it wich i thought was harmless because she never really told me it was actually hurting her. apparantly it actually really bothered wich she only told me at the end of our friendship and i guess i just feel stupid now?? like, now that i look back on everything i did i just feel like a horrible person because it just looks so clear that they didnt want to hang around with me at all and that i was nothing more then a bother. every memory just feels awkward in the back of my head and i just want to shrivel up and die inside. i wish she told me that i was bothering and annoying her instead of ghosting me for weeks but i also feel like i shouldve just taken the hint i guess? it was alot of small things that probably fueled up her resentment for me and the fact that i was just dragging her into situations and topics she had no understandings over. its just UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i cant even read the last paragraph she sent me without cryingg and i feel so dumbbb i just want someone to tell me that its even allowed to feel this way over an online friend? ive always had this mindset that it was stupid to feel clingy over people in your phone especially when its people you met on fucking ponytown of all places i guess? they both moves on so quickly while my stupid dumbass poured a little too much into this stupid friendship and i just feel so stupid. im still in contact with that other friend thankfully i guess but its only through tiktok. i just miss our hangouts on ponytown, playing roblox with them, ranting about school with them and everything else. i just miss them so much they were like sisters to me and i feel so dumb for clinging onto online friends like this.

Replied on: October 27, 2024 at 12:16:13 AM

It's perfectly okay to feel attachment to people that you've bonded with, even if it's over the internet, and even if you met them on ponytown. They are/were your friends, you spent time with them and grew close to them, of course you're going to be upset when that connection and bond is lost; it's perfectly fine and natural to feel that way. I understand how it can feel when you're looking back at old situations and thinking about all the things you could have done differently, but speaking from experience, if there's nothing you can do now, it's really not worth worrying about what you should have done then. It will only eat away at you and make you feel worse. You're doing well to acknowledge your mistakes; learn from them for the future.

Anonymous October 26, 2024 at 7:26:37 PM

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idc

why is it that im everyones last option, no one will come to me until they're bored

Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 7:29:02 PM

Try making new friends, reaching out more, taking the initiative, or even finding new hobbies that might make you more approachable! Sometimes all you need is a new perspective on your own life to flip a switch that will draw more people toward you. Personally it was unlocking my confidence; but it's different for everyone. I hope you find someone who really likes spending time with you, soon!

4 October 26, 2024 at 7:06:05 PM

What's your favorite song for when you're upset?: i dont care wjat i listen too

What's your coping mechanism?: distractions

Who are your trusted people?: my boyfriend and maybe like 3 of my friends

Would you like me to reply to your entry?: idc

about a vcouple of days to maybe a week or 2 agao i had gotten home and sat at my computer only to find that my boyfriend had cut/harmed himself thankfully it wasnt anything terrible or drasitc, he'd essentially just scratched himself but it scared the shit out of me. and i have reason to be afraid knowing my brother once scared himself up like a tiger i tried not to make the situation about me but i couldnt stop telling him how scared i was and i couldnt stop crying he really did scared me half to death that at somepoint i tried praying and im not even religious i feel terrible about it still because i wholeheartedly believe i was manipulatng him the entire time despite him telling me i wasnt but i dont know f i can believe him any because no matter what the fuck i touch i either hurt it or ruin it or break it and honestly killing myself looks so tempting so i can free him from the burden of being with me

Replied on: October 26, 2024 at 7:22:13 PM

Expressing your concern for someone, especially a loved one, regardless of how, is entirely valid, and it's very hard to manipulate someone if you don't mean to. I don't think you did anything wrong, but hurting yourself would be wrong of you, and make you a hypocrite, and likely terrify him just as bad. It's truly not worth killing yourself over. If you're truly worried that you're manipulating him, taking a break from the relationship to see how you both feel after even just a few days can help determine that much, and show you that either you're comfortable together, or that perhaps you simply weren't meant to be. Either way, regardless of what you decide to do, I hope things go well for the both of you, and that you can find the solace you need, and that this experience only brings you closer together. Love him and all of his scars, even if they scare you.