I feel so stressed. I don't know what to do. I miss my friend so much but I'm giving her space before I apologize. I love her. I really do. I want her to know I'll change myself for her.

Hii…. i’m back again.. this the only place where i ever talk about my feelings i feel so shitty right now, my “wife”(/p) is hanging out with other men and matching with them and she’s just not coming up to me unless our friends are near me. I’m so tired she calls me her sweet boy but i’m starting to think she just does it for shits and giggles to make me stay. She put me through so much stress and also I’ve been told by friends and friends of friends that she’s done this to other people. ( being close to them then ghosting them, repeat ) i’m so tired of feeling like i’m being used.

I cant fUCKING DO THSI ANYM,TOERE i hate it her i fouckgin hater it her e i cant deal with this shit its so overwhelming ive been so close to relapsing and apt im gonna go to a mental hosprtifal because nobody is taling me or my mental health seriously i hatre whwre i live i hate this state i hate my family they dont get me . im not saying that to be corny or edjy i just cant do it anymore they thhing theyrte being good people when they make me wanna kms, cant call any hotlines cc ant do anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! therapy isnt working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hat e the united states!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im actually so sick of it here i hat that nobody takes me seriously and just thinks im being quirky and an attention seeker cause i wanna be a boy im trans im a transman and i cant express it becasue of these damn homophobes and!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im spiralling i keep remembering the sa. the trauma. the FUCKING adrghjgjdrkzdkffghjklzdfghjklfgdhjzklDFGHNKLDL im gonna MIOLL MYSELF i feel lso disgusting even when i cahnge how i look to make myself more vomfortable my parents hate it anf hate what i did to my hair when i was with a friend i hate having so change myself every two fucking seconds jsut to try and gaslight meyself into thinking it didnt happen and that it was just a pass life or sime shit im so shaky my whole body hurts i rhggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i jsut want all of this to end i think because of this trauma i have bipolar disorder and DID on TOP of undiagnosed AuDHD i hat ethe favt i cant say what i want to becuase its jsut a tangled mass in my bdy like a buncch of yarn

For some reason my stress levels have been really high recently and every little thing that is bad i start stressing over instantly to the point i wanna throw up and my heart pounds so much. i don’t know what is going on with me at all, my mother said i need to start getting medication but idk if she’ll ever get me it.

GRAAAAHH i hate lying. i dont even know how i got here but this shit fucking SUUUUXX... i dont know why my body insists on going against my mouth. i just told my friends i was feeling better and it was trtue but now im feeling worse than i have in months and even more than normal i dont want to tell anyone because i dont want to be a burden to them. fucking UAURUUGHGHHHAHHG lets all just kill 🦦

thank you for making a safe place for others to vent but, are you okay? hope you are. when you replied to my message it made my night, you're taking the time out of your day to help others. That's great . but suicide is never the right option. I'm not a verified psychologist or anything but i just want to help. <3 if it's night for you i suggest getting sleep, or having a glass of water. It helps, i read the message that you left on your page. You Matter. You are loved. You make a difference. (in a good way)

I hate ppl who shit talk behind your back,I haven't said shit bout you yet you're over here pressing me. please let me live my life,I'm over that beef we had. I just wanna move on fr. leave me alone please and ty. not a vent just a rant..again

I hate people who yell at you for no reason when they hate you even tho you said nothing to them in a LONG while. like please get the fuck on somewhere, ts not a vent but its a rant.

I hate myself. I hate myself so much and I want to die. I'm going to hang myself tonight. If someone finds or stops me and I survive then I'll respond to this. If not then I'm really glad I could help all of you. It's made me the happiest I've been since October 9th when I ruined the last good thing I had going for me. Goodbye. I love you Z. I never stopped. I wish I had been better.

this is genuinely so dumb so finding a place to write this down is nice. im super into my bff like embarrassingly so and weve lowk got a situationship thing going on but i hate it umm but recently ive been feeling unwell and havent had the energy to interact well with people and i think i was rude somehow and put him off ( he hasnt talked to me in days and i feel like batshit insane because of how bad i miss him something wrong with my brain chemicals i think

I just need to let this out. Family issues are KILLING ME. Bit of a background info so it makes sense [ I suck ass at writing ] My Mother and Father are both immigrants from a Latin South American country. I am the firstborn in the United states, therefore making me responsible for claiming them the day i turn 21. It HURTS seeing my parents not being able to see theirs. I cry when i think about my cousins, the ones i watched grow up all through video conference. My grandma [ Fathers side ] Developed Alzheimer's and cannot remember my Father, me, brother. Only slightly remembers my Mother. It hurts to see my Father cry, It really does. My Grandparents from my Mothers side have done bad financial decisions and expect US to help them get out of it. We can barely get by. Living paycheck to paycheck. They tell me not worry about all this, but how the hell am i not supposed to?? I was a goddamned mistake and the reason they stayed in this " Golden Cage " Its my fault they haven't seen their family in 16 years, I'm so done with this. I HAVENT EVEN MET THE PEOPLE I CARE SO MUCH FOR. I CANT LEAVE THIS GODDAMNED STATE. IM TRYING TO GET A PASSAPORT BUT ITS SO SO EXPENSIVE, UNITED STATES IS DAMNED. DAMNED. I hate and love my parents at the same time. I wish the best for them. They're partly the reason i haven't killed myself yet. I don't want them to suffer more. THANKFULLY! Ive worked against that stupid feeling yipe!! Unfortunately i still SH so uhrhhu *Wags finger* Not bueno! I have been clean for a few days so, thats good ig! Holy hell a swing right in the middle of writing. Amazing dude. The hell do i say now. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you so much, Take care and drink water! <3 -BD

I just wish I could find ways to cope, None of them work for me. I just want to be able to cope in healthy ways

its time to do it instead of thinking about not doing it.

i really to relapse on coke again. its really hard not to.

I have a crush on a guy IRL but I have a QPR.. and we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend all the time and act like we're in a relationship except it's online and. it's without romance. I don't know if my crush would like that, nor my QPP. I'm a bit sure my crush likes me back, and I don't know how my QPP would take that. They're very sensitive and told me before they get upset at the fact I could liked someone more than them. I thought I was aromantic for awhile, until I realized I wasn't when i developed a crush on this guy. I for sure think I have a crush on him, my heart skips a beat thinking about him. But my QPP might not like that, or accept that. I'm willing to break up with my QPP if it means being with my crush if my crush ever turns into my Boyfriend, and doesn't accept my QPR. I KNOW that my QPP and I would still be friends even if we ended the relationship, I just don't know how my crush or my QPP would take it. Including I am not even in a relationship with my crush.