Religion sucks. I've been raised in a religious country and household and that's totally fine by me but the problem is I'm a trans man and in the eyes of the people around me that's the most disgusting, awful thing you could do. But I've learned to deal with it. That's not the point though. Last year I found this beautiful girl that I loved with all my heart. She became my friend, best friend, and then lover after months and everything was great. She's the only one who understood me in this world, the only one who'd listen to me, the only one who actually cared. She has given me gifts that I've treasured deep in my heart. Recently, though, it has come to my attention that she had been acting weird... So I talked to her about it ... and she began explaining to me how we couldn't be together because her parents were religious and it was against her religion and she found herself to be better off with an actual boy. I understood, I just wanted her to be happy and comfortable but it wounded me deeply. She has told me she still loves me, but we couldn't be together because of religion. And I just miss her so much... If I had been born a cis man this wouldn't have happened. I miss everything, I miss her touch, her kisses, her everything. I miss her. Why couldn't I have been born a boy?

I know suicide is never the answer, and I don't ever plan on doing that, but sometimes I wish death would just take me already. I'm not sick or anything, but I'm severally down, no medicines work for me, therapy is causing me more stress than anything and I have tried a lot of coping mechanisms. Idk, I know this'll pass one day, but it fuckin sucks, y'know?

Hi My dad hates me, says i never show affection to him, but i do care about him i'm just shit at expressing emotion. I don't know why, i have trouble saying 'i Love you' and such. today, he was going to put a movie on, he was going to turn it up a tad, and asked "oi, where's the remote" and i replied "I don't know, look between the couch cushions.." but i had it and was just messing around. He eventually got so pissed that he left the room saying "Fuck y'all i'm leaving..it always seems like you don't love me or anything.." it left me and my little brother stunned, he's only eight and doesn't deserve any of this bullshit. My dad's a heavy alcoholic and probably only has about two years left. His kidneys are gonna get to him. My mom is in Florida, hates his guts. they just got divorced and i HATE going back and forth with my parents, and yeah i prefer seeing my mom. i'm a girl she's a girl, we just communicate better you know, (also tysm for this safe place where i can vent ). Haven't seen my dad since, i had went into the car to get the keys before he left but he just started shouting, i kept saying "give me the keys" over and over. because i thought he was going to commit, i was scared as hell. At the time i was staying at my grandmothers house and he has to borrow my grandmothers car so he can drive back and forth to work. he just left. Another thing is that i want to come out as bisexual but my dad's homophobic, and would hate me for it. i want to ask for supplies to make a fursuit head but DAMN he dislikes them too. might just ask my mom but my family isn't the richest. that's all bye bye see ya >

not a vent but i just want to say that i am eternally grateful to you for creating a safe space where i and those alike can vent and be taken seriously. it means a lot. heart!

this is going to make me seem so snobby and ungrateful but i just wish i my family actually had money for grocies, all they ever buy is pepsi instead of food and i feel like im dying of hunger [I][/I

I cant anymore I'm actually going to fucking do it, yes suicide is the answer.

i want to like punch a wall or something to be angry at because like its been raining homeworks , each day has a assignment, individual work or activity. I get we dont have class for a week but like calm down??? i need to breathe from these work your giving me?? Im literally trying to do work without staying up late but damn these works are stressing me out so badddd The fact exam is in the corner makes me more stressed i need a chill pill before my body starts dying on me

my parents are abusive and neglectful and not even i remember the extent of their abuse. it makes me feel like i've made the problems all up but they present themselves every day. its like they barely care about me and see me as an extension of themselves. it's like they see me as an infant still. i'm turning 17 very soon, if they continue i'm not talking to them when i move out

I'm extremely miserable. I've realized I kind of have to leave my friend group's server because I'm not happy there anymore. I'm miserable dealing with being alone most of the time, and I can tell and have noticed and have actively asked for it to stop, but I want to be involved, but nobody wants to do that. It's just these three people, and one of them used to be a really close friend of mine. I also used to have a crush on that really close friend; I kind of still do. but it's nothing that I can fix. How depressing... I'm sure I'll be able to find new people. but I miss what I had. i also used to have a crush on that really close friend, kinda still do. but its nothing that i can fix. how depressin.... im sure ill be able to find new people. but i miss what i had.

is it to late to suicide or should I just daydream about it instead

Y'know maybe its time i actually do it instead of contemplating.

It's been difficult for me to type out messages since I can't really get all my thoughts in order so some things may be left out or just given in short sentences. My brain has felt jumbled for weeks and it's hard for me to describe my emotions and mental state. I get more exhausted every time someone asks because it's not easily explainable. I've been a weed smoker for three years and dealing with Major Depressive Disorder for a few years as well, so I understand if that makes things harder, but I've never felt this disconnected before. I have Fs in most of my classes and I feel like such a failure, but when I go to class, all I can really do is stare at my computer or sleep because I'm either exhausted or I can't focus. I have acquired sixteen absences (only counting unexcused) in two months. I have nightmares every other night that make me very paranoid and can also keep me from sleeping, and other days I'm just too depressed to move. (ALSO off topic but elections were very stressful, and I'm scared for inauguration + whatever happens in the next four years because I was outed as being queer in middle school and a lot of people know. I would also like to keep my reproductive and voting rights...so that is probably going to make it harder to leave the house.) I started doing school virtually from home today, so hopefully that helps bring my grade up and I can pass everything at the end of the year, but my brother took my report card and read it, and it just made me feel really bad. I don't know why things feel so difficult for me. There's nothing wrong with me or my appearance, but it's hard to look in a mirror or think about myself without feeling like some gross creature or something (idk how else to explain.) I know those feelings are because of how ppl treated me growing up, I just don't know how to fix it and I'm not sure if therapy is even an option right now cause --> insurance = trash. I guess I'm just annoyed because people are always trying to give me advice that can end up being really unhelpful and make me feel worse instead of just being there to support me and I've been feeling very alone. sorry for the long post, I jus found this page and I kinda need a hug rn :,D

I also have ASD and PDD, autism spectrum disorder and persistent depression disorder according to my psychiatrist. Official diagnoses after 7 years of silent pain in my life

So I went to the psych unit at my usual hospital, and my psychiatrist said that she gives me and my family a week to see if I'm needed to be put in a psyc ward. If yes, they're transferring me to another hospital for a week or two to stay by myself in the hospital's psych unit. I hope I'm not annoying anyone or the owner of this uhh site by continuously venting/updating on myself > 3rd login from me-😴

It feels like no one ever understands me, like no one ever notices how unwell I feel. Yeah sure it might seem like I'm a narcissist but no, I just want to feel loved. It just feels like I could disappear and no one would notice. Plus also with all the relationship issues, I genuinely hope things just get better soon. Idk, I'll just try to get better soon.